How Could This Happen To Me?
by Robsten4Eva
Summary: We all have choices. When Kristen Stewart makes a choice that has the power to break the love of her life, Robert Pattinson, will she be able to handle the consequences? Rated M for dark themes
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: this story is VERY dark and angsty. you have been warned.**

**Rob POV**

My hands were shaking. A line from a Simple Plan song kept replaying in my head over, and over again.

"_How could this happen to me?"_

I loved her. How could she be so fucking blind? She was my world, my flower. I wanted to marry her, have children with her, and walk with her on this path that you call life, hand in hand.

Her green eyes were burned into my brain. Her sad, green, pained eyes. I offered her everything I had, and she had rejected me. She rejected me in the worst way possible.

I took another long, lazy drag from my cigarette and picked up the gun from the coffee table. I turned it around carefully in my hands... the hands of a broken man.

I began to sob, tears staining my plaid shirt. I screamed in agony. No, there was no physical pain. Only hurt and sorrow.

I angrily set the gun down, defeated. I picked up my beer and began pacing the room. The silence was overwhelming me, so I turned on the stereo at full blast. The lyrics of the song that started made my heart ache.. ache for the girl I had lost.. the girl that had changed my world.

_How could this happen to me?_

_I've made my mistakes_

_got nowhere to run_

I walked back to the table that held my fate. That goddamn gun was taunting me.

'Do it, Rob.' it chanted at me, inviting. I threw the beer across the room, causing it to smash violently against the wall. In the background, the song continued.

_The night goes on as I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just want to scream_

The words held an undeniable sense of truth. I **was** sick of this life, and I **did **just want to scream.

So, I did scream.

I screamed for all I had lost, and all I would never get to experience. I was Robert Pattinson, 'The Sexiest Man In America'. And yet, all I wanted was her.

The song finished, a melancholy note hanging in the stale, hotel room air.

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me?_

I glanced at my computer, my desktop picture reminding me of happier times. It was a black and white photo taken by our buddy, Jackson. The photograph was hauntingly beautiful, me and her smiling, staring obliviously into each other's eyes. That was the day the cast had found out we had been nominated for eleven Teen Choice Awards.

Ashley and Taylor rejoiced in the background of the photo, but me and my girl had no sense of anything but each other. That was the happiest day of my life.

Now, it all meant nothing.

I grabbed the gun and spoke the final words that my British mouth would ever utter.

"I'm sorry, Kristen. I love you."

I put my finger on the trigger.

**Kristen POV**

How could I have been so blind? The man I loved had laid everything out on the table. He asked me to be his wife, and all I could say was 'Rob, we're too young.'

Tears stained my cheeks. I checked the time on my cell phone again for the twentieth time in fifteen seconds.

I worriedly checked my messages again, Rob's last text message to me causing bile to rise in my throat.

'_i luv u. This will B the last tyme u will ever see me'_

I bit my trembling lower lip. I dailed his number again, hoping that this time he would answer.

_Ring Ring_

I remembered the anguish on his face when I declined his proposal. It made my already aching heart shatter into a million pieces.

_Ring Ring_

I remembered the sight of the back of his head, walking sullen out of the room, leaving me on the floor, confused and alone. His Edward bronzed hair had shone bright in the light of the lamp as he had sulked out of the room. I laughed bitterly. He always did hate those fucking highlights.

_Ring Ring_

"Can't you go any fucking faster?!" I shouted impatiently at the driver. This earned me nothing but a death stare and a scoff. However, he did slightly press harder on the gas. I huffed and fell back into the seat.

_Ring Ring_

"Come on Rob..." I prayed quietly aloud. "Come on, love. My darling... Don't do it."

"_Hullo. This is Robert. Leave your name and---"_

I threw the phone across the limo before his sweet, sweet voice could cause my soul to break anymore.

I buried my face in my hands, weeping loudly. Nothing came out except tearless, choked sobs. All my tears had already been cried.

How could I have denied something that was so beautiful and obviously perfect for us? There was no one else in the world for me. He was my own personal Hercules.

I glanced out of the window, my red, puffy eyes making it difficult for me to see anything.

We were getting close. Only three more blocks to go.

I would make things right. I would make us right.

I put my hand on the door, bracing myself for a quick escape whenever we arrived at his apartment. I needed to move quickly. There was no telling if he had already committed the unspeakable act he was no doubt contemplating.

Two more blocks.

My heart pounded. Everything was moving so slowly. My feet were itching to hit the pavement, running to the one who had bettered my life... the one who had turned my world upside down.

One more block.

My fingers twitched, readying to push open the door and save my man.

The driver brought the car to a halt.

We were here.

I was here.

I didn't know what to do. I was frozen.

Suddenly, a song popped into my head. _Our song._

_Nothing matters more_

_I'll do anything for her_

_She will always be_

_The greatest part of me_

_Most beautiful girl you'll ever see_

_She's the best part of me_

The final line of the Bella Cullen Project song, "Safety First", rang like a bell in my head.

Without another thought, and without further hesitation, I pushed open the car door with all my might and began running towards my future.

I ran right past the front desk, not bothering to pause and explain who I was. They already knew. I arrived at the elevator doors, pressing the 'Up' button repeatedly. My pulse pounded, causing my head to feel heavy and clouded. What if I was too late?

What if there was no chance at reconciliation?

What if I had fucked up any chance that I had ever had?

Tears began to fill my eyes. I bit my lower lip and whimpered, wringing my hands in my Joy Division tshirt. The tshirt he had given me the last time we had made love.

_Bing_

The elevator doors finally opened, inviting me to face my fate. I stepped in quickly. Blinking furiously, I pressed 9 over and over again.

_It's too late_

I was taken by surprise at the words that had popped into my mind.

_No! It's not too late! I can still save him!_ I internally tried to convince myself.

_You've failed..._

The overwhelming words pierced into my heart. I began to break.

_Bing_

The doors opened, revealing the long hallway to Rob's room. Without second thought, I began dashing towards my love. I had no idea what I was going to find, no idea what I was going to say. None of that mattered now. I just had to save him from himself.

I was surprised to find his door ajar when I arrived. Why had he not bothered to lock it? He was Robert Pattinson. Millions of girls would gladly jump at the opportunity to break into his room. Why now was he making that opportunity so easy?

I took a deep breath, readying myself for whatever awaited me on the other side of that heavy, oak door. I closed my eyes and took the leap.

I walked into the room, my nostrils filled with the scent of cigarettes and beer. It smelled like... _Rob._ I smiled sadly.

I didn't see anything out of the ordinary at first. In the background, "Untitled" by Simple Plan played quietly. The melody made my heart ache.

I walked down the long, dark hallway cautiously. In front of me, I could see the living room. My heart pounded. I knew I should be walking faster. At this point in time, seconds were precious. Instead, my feet felt like they were made of lead, each step agonizing and difficult. Dread washed over me, causing my breaths to hitch in my chest.

I finally entered the living room, looking around frantically for my Rob.

That's when I saw him.

I froze in horror.

He stood with his back to me, facing the corner where the left wall met the back wall. In his hand, he held a gun.

A gun that he was pointing directly at his head.

A quiet, choked sob was all that was able to escape my dry throat.

The gun fired.

**a/n: that does it for part 1. part 2 will be up shortly. (this will only be a two part story, btw.) reviews are appreciated, guys!!! :D:D:D**


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: thanks so much to everyone who reviewed part 2! now, without further delay, i bring to you 'how could this happen to me? pt. 2' enjoy. :)**

**Kristen POV**

I closed my eyes before I had the chance to witness the suicide. I was terrified to open them, not ready to see what awaited me. The room was completely silent except for my soft sobs, and the distinct ringing in my ears caused by the gun shot.

What had I done?

I began to shake.

**Rob POV**

What was she doing here? She didn't want me. She had no business interfering in my personal affairs anymore. I had offered her everything I had, and she had cruely shoved it back into my face. Who the hell did she think she was?

I hadn't heard her come in. She was always great at sneaking up on me. She always could play an amazing game of Marco Polo, prancing silent but deadly around the room. I laughed to myself, remembering the time we had played that for hours in the green room before the MTV Movie Awards.

But now was not the time for reminiscing. Now was the time to figure out just what the fuck was going on.

I heard her soft breathing behind me. I knew she was there. I had the gun pointed directly at my head, poised to pull the trigger and end all of this bullshit.

And yet, I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do this to her.

So, instead, I pointed the gun directly at the sofa and shot.

I heard her gasp loudly behind me, feathers floating widly about the room. I frowned, cursing myself for not having the balls to just do it.

I sighed deeply, rubbing my hand through my dirty, dishelved hair. I was afraid to turn around and face her. I stood there for what felt like hours, but I'm sure it was only mere seconds. Laying the gun down softly on the coffee table, I decided it was time to turn around and face my fate.

So, I did.

When I set my eyes upon her face, my heart broke all over again.

Her eyes were shut tightly, and she was trembling uncontrollably. All I wanted was to take her into my arms and fight away her deepest, darkest fears... make every bad and horrible thing that she'd ever known disappear into oblivion. It was then that it struck me.

What the fuck had I done to her?

Yes, she had rejected me when I had been at my most vulnerable. I had offered her my entire future, but she coldly had declined. But staring at her now, completely shattered and terrified, I felt like... well, I felt like a complete monster.

I stood statue still, unsure of what exactly I should do. I breathed deeply and willed my feet to move.

I inched towards her, slowly, trying to buy myself some time so I could think of what I should say to her.

The only words that popped into my mind were "I love you. You are my world."

I was finally standing directly in front of her, only centimeters away from her lovely, flushed face. Her heavy breathing ceased. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

It was then I felt the sharp sting of a slap on my face.

**Kristen POV**

I was ecstatic. I was horrified. I was confused.

I was pissed off.

His breath on my face had shocked me.

I had heard the gun shot. Every cell in my body had frozen when the sound had hit my ear drums. I knew when I opened my eyes that my deepest fears would come true. There would be the love of my existence, laying in a pool of his own blood, dead.

Standing there, every memory I had ever shared with Rob flashed through my head.

Making love in the limo after the MTV Movie Awards._ "You are the universe..." _he had whispered sweetly in my ear.

Late night smoke breaks on my patio, discussing movies and literature.

Tickle fights on the rough carpet of whatever hotel room he happened to be staying in that night.

His warm breath on the nape of my neck, tickling every nerve ending in my body, causing my soul to ignite and my legs to quiver.

The feeling of his stubbly jaw on the inside of my thigh, and the sight of his devious smile, only slightly visible over the top of my stomach.

I felt like everything was crumbling around me.

So, when I felt his breath on my face, I thought that surely I was imagining things. I was too frightened to open my eyes, scared that I was simply fabricating his presence. I was only willing him to be alive.

_Open your eyes... _My brain told me.

I did.

Cautiously, I began to will my eyelids to open. At first, he was only a blurry figure. It was only a trick of the light, right?

It was not until my eyes were fully open did I realize I was mistaken.

This really **was **Rob, and he was... alive.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to jump into his arms and bury my head into his dirty, cigarette scented shirt. I wanted to kiss him and weep, telling him how much he meant to me and how sorry I was.

I wanted to slap the shit out of him.

Before I could think, I brought my hand across his cheek.

He stood there, stunned, the fingers of his left hand gently running over the red mark my hand had left.

I'm not sure how long we stood there, just staring at each other. It must have been minutes. I think both of us were too afraid to move, scared we would both wake up from the dream.

If I moved, Rob would really be laying dead on the ground. If he moved, I would really be back at my home in Woodland Hills, never having come to save him from his death.

_Say something, Kristen... anything._ I scolded myself.

It was he who spoke first.

**Rob POV**

I didn't know what to say. She was so obviously hurt by what I had done. Well, what I had _almost _done. How could she not be? It seemed that no words in the world could make up for my selfishness.

Instead, I relied on our favorite poem by Robert Frost, "To Earthward"

"Now no joy but lacks salt

That is not dashed with pain

And weariness and fault;

I crave the stain

Of tears, the aftermark

Of almost too much love,

The sweet of bitter bark

And burning clove."

Tears ran down her cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to kiss each one away. I yearned to take her into my arms.

I was surprised when she threw her arms around me.

Instantly, we both collapsed to the ground. I don't know whether it was from relief, heartbreak, or just simply weariness. We were both just so... tired.

I held her like that for an hour. I let her cry into my shirt, her cries interrupted only ocassionally by words like "I'm so sorry" and "I'll never forgive myself."

I buried my nose deep into her hair, inhaling the scent of cigarettes and her coconut shampoo. She couldn't see my face, but I was also letting my tears flow freely, soaking her jet black hair.

I rocked her, only pausing for short periods to kiss every inch of her beautiful face. Her fingers were dug deeply into my hair, massaging my scalp tenderly. She always did that when she knew I was stressed or upset.

_God... how could I have almost given all this up? _

I was such a fool.

When her sobs finally quieted down to soft hiccups, I picked her up in my arms. I pressed my forehead gently to hers while carrying her to the bed, so thankful that I had this second chance.

I laid her down gently, removing her shoes and jacket. I laid down facing her, intertwining my legs with hers. She wrapped her arms around me, bringing me in close.

I could feel her heart beat in sync with mine. It was the most glorious sensation in the world.

She smiled lazily at me, her eyes starting to appear heavy. I traced her lips gently with my index finger, anxious to make this moment last.

What if she no longer wanted me?

I could tell she was fighting sleep. So was I. This had been a crazy, exhausting day.

I leaned in close to her ear.

"Sleep, my love. It's alright." I whispered.

I kissed her forehead gently and touched my nose to hers.

She began to close her eyes. However, before she sunk into a deep, dreamless sleep, she spoke one word ever so softly.

"Yes."

Immediately after, she was out like a light.

Euphoria flooded me. I knew exactly what she had meant by that one, simple word.

Kristen Stewart was going to be my wife.

Tears filled my eyes, a wide, triumphant smile spreading across my face.

I hugged her tiny body tightly to mine, savoring the feeling of her in my arms.

Only two hours ago, I had almost taken my life, jeopardizing this very moment... the moment I had been longing for so.

She had accepted my proposal.

I closed my eyes, feeling nothing but happiness. Happiness, and the sensation of Kristen's chest rising and falling against mine with each breath she took.

I burned the destroyed, bullet ridden sofa the next day.

**a/n: alright, folks! that's it. :) i hope you guys were satisfied with the ending. please subscribe/friend me. i have another story in the works, and it should be posted shortly. i'm kind of on a fanfic roll. :D**


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